Tag Archives: Humor

If I only had free will (parody)

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I could make a decision
not bound by decreed precision
I’m certain to fulfill.
piperfullgospelNor would I be a puppet,
strings pulled like Jim Henson’s muppet
if I only had free will

I’d unravel just whose to blame,
when life goes down in a flame
And people rape n’ kill

No evil ordained in Dort,
means not taking God to court
If we only had free will

Oh, I would tell you why,
The future still is sure
Or why God is light and still remains pure
For no evil he can endure

Permit would not mean nuthin’
An arg’ment full of stuffin’
Goin’ to a land fill
Cuz choices I’d be makin’
‘sponsibility be takin’
If I only had free will

I am Thesis Man (Reform a Song)

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What would it look like if Black Sabbath’s hit song Iron Man was written as a tribute to Martin Luther and the Reformation? I’m glad you asked.

It might go something like this:

Has he lost his mind
Luther is now in a bind
In the sight of all
95 thesis on the wall

People being led
By wrong things the Pope has said
You must pay the fare
To ascend heavenly stair

That is works based zeal
And a faith that is not real
Reform so sublime
Faces quite an uphill climb

portrait-of-martin-luther-as-an-augustinian-monk

Martin Luther

Pope Leo wants him
Papal Bull is unfurled

Planning his vengeance
Kick him out of the fold

He stands without fear
Diet of Worms is now here
Writings he won’t waive
Why can’t Luther just behave

Nobody wants him
They just turn their heads

Nobody stops him
So Rome can’t get it’s revenge

Thesis has been read
Reform fever now has spread
Telling all the men they can
By faith alone we live again

Sinners in the Hand of an Angry God (Seuss)

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What if Jonathan Edwards memorable sermon “Sinners in the Hand of an Angry God” was written in the style of Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat? It might go something like this:

EdwardsInTheHatTo Fall In Due Time

We sat there in church.
We listened so well.
The preacher stepped up
to tell us about hell.

With tales of horror,
that sound like Stephen King,
We sat on the seat edge
with sweat that did cling.

The preacher he taught,
about our feet sliding.
Explaining the text,
no truth was he hiding.

To walk in a place
so slippery and wet.
A most foolish idea
you are sure to regret.

You’ll fall down
down
down
down
into a wide gaping pit.
And you will not like it.
Not one little bit. Continue reading →