What if William Lane Craig wrote the lyrics to Panama (Satire)

What if William Lane Craig of Reasonable Faith wrote the lyrics to Panama by Van Halen? If he is right about Molinism and middle knowledge then there must have been a possible world where this happened. So I offer you what those lyrics might have looked like in some other world that we have not had the blessing to see actualized. Apologies to William Lane Craig, Van Halen and Luis de Molina.

Rock on!

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Why is this Night Different?

As part of the Passover celebration there are several steps. One of the steps is the Maggid. This is where the stories of the Exodus and Israel’s release from captivity in Egypt are retold. Before that happens this part of the evening is kicked off by asking four questions collectively known as Ma Nishtana. The main question is: What makes this night different from all other nights?

This villanelle tries to capture the mood on that first Maudy Thursday as Jesus’ closest followers eat the Passover meal without quite understanding that His hour had come nor how different this night was really going to be from all other nights.

Why is this night different we say
We prepare bread of yeast-less dough
Guarded by the lamb we did slay

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God Hates Me (Satire on Jacob and Esau in Romans 9)

What if Puddle of Mudd wrote their popular song She Hates Me about Esau?

Isaac and Rebekah had twin boys, Jacob and Esau. From the start there was sibling rivalry and parental favoritism. Two individuals with different interests and skills. But for them there was also promises that God had made to their grandfather Abraham. There would be a favored nation that would be great and would ultimately be a blessing to the world.

Paul mentions these two in Romans 9, quoting Malachi 1:2-5, sparking debate about how God elects people to salvation

Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated

This one goes out to all the TheoBros out there…

Chosen ones, numbered like sand
He made us, clay in His hand
Potter made a jar or two
I’m the one cracked and glued

Lentil stew, drips from my lip
Never thought I’d be the one He’d skip
Then I started to realize
I was nothing in His eyes

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